Getting Back to My Vibe
I am changing my name back to my maiden name after years of using my married name. 15 years ago, I finalized my divorce,although one thing I held onto was my married name. At the time, it felt like the right decision—a way to keep continuity for my kids. I wanted my kids to know I was never ashamed of the name. It has nothing to do with not being proud of our family. I valued my twenty-three year marriage to their dad. That chapter of my life shaped me in countless ways, and the name “Ficklin” became part of my identity.
Time has passed. My children have become adults. I’ve realized it’s time for a revamp. I want a change that reflects the woman I am today. Recently, I decided to reclaim my maiden name, Orchow, and I couldn’t be more excited about this fresh start. A new start and a new title. A new me.
I was barely 19 years old when I got married. 19!!! I readily embraced my new last name. I gave it little thought at the time. It felt natural at the time—a societal norm I didn’t question. Now, at this stage of life, I’ve become more confident in who I am. I’ve grown into someone who deeply values her independence and identity. I am sure that if I were to marry again, I would use my maiden name. Certainly not because I wouldn’t value the partnership. I’ve fallen in love with the person I’ve become. This is a person who deserves to stand proudly on her own.
Why The Work to Go Back to My Maiden Name
My maiden name, Orchow, is a piece of my Ukrainian heritage. It ties me to my father’s family and a legacy I’m eager to embrace more fully. Reclaiming my father’s name feels like reclaiming a part of myself I’d lost touch with over the years.
This journey of self-discovery has also led me back to my Jewish beliefs. After much reflection, I made the decision to have my name officially removed from the records of the LDS church. More on that a different day. My time within that faith was significant in shaping my story. Returning to my Jewish roots feels like coming home. It’s a connection with the values, traditions, and spirituality that resonate deeply with who I am today.
Changing your name sounds simple, but in Hawaii, it’s a journey all its own. It starts with a petition to the court, a fair amount of paperwork, and—of course—filing fees. Then there’s a waiting period before you can attend a court hearing to make your case. It’s not just about signing a few forms. You have to navigate bureaucracy with a smile or at least a sense of humor.
Once you get the court order, the real fun begins. You must update your Social Security card, driver’s license, and passport. Don’t forget your bank accounts, insurance, and even your Netflix account. (Okay, maybe not Netflix, but you get the idea.) It’s a lot, but every step brings me closer to aligning my name with my true self. And if I’ve learned one thing in life, it’s that the best things are worth a little effort.
A New Chapter: Owning Who I Am
This isn’t just a legal change; it’s a personal transformation. Reclaiming my maiden name is my way of saying, “This is me.” It’s a nod to my heritage, a celebration of my growth, and a declaration of self-love. Orchow is more than a name—it’s a connection to my past, my family, and the resilient, confident woman I’ve become.
Change can be good. Feeling like yourself is glorious. Becoming who you want to be, is allowed. Make yourself feel like who you really are. Do it for you. It’s your name, your story, your life. Leave a comment below and let me know how you feel about your last name. Every step of the process is a step toward becoming the person you’ve always been meant to be.
